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While it may not be Y2K compatible, cable ready, or housebroken, the CEOmatic 2000 is a fully-functioning virtual manager. In fact, it's much more effective than a real manager. It won't leave the last few coffee molecules burning in the office coffee pot. It doesn't need a reserved parking space at the front door (although it will take one anyway). And yet, it's capable of generating up to 10 management-suitable sentences per hour. (It could generate more, but it's playing solitaire.)

From the desk of the CEOmatic 2000.... This company will maximize our synergy to seize our official projects as predicted.